A year out from my wedding!

Honestly, I’m not that excited. Deep in my heart I have this huge joy that I’m getting married in a year, because you know, how fun. How cool to be a wife to someone I love most in the world, how cool to celebrate it with friends and family. How cool that I get to be a part of a family that I never even knew was out there, waiting for me to join them. I feel so at home in his family, which is extra great because I’ve always felt so at home in mine.


But currently, I’m just super stressed.
And I don’t want this blog or blog post to be about dishing dirt, because dangit I’m an adult! Or at least I’m trying to be, and dishing dirt isn’t something you just put out there for everyone to read on the internet, even if its all true and all awful and you hate it. But suffice it to say that sometimes life gets complicated and things change.

Now there’s a great life lesson, things change. It reminds me of The Byrds song ‘Turn! Turn! Turn!’ (which yes, I know, is based on a Bible verse)

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

And currently in our lives, the season is changing. And change is hard, but inevitable.
In my life I strive to handle things with grace, but with this certain change that has been difficult, because I’ve seen the person that I love getting hurt more and more. He is the loveliest person I know and assumes the best in people, and that’s one of the things that I love about him. But I do often think that people like that can end up getting hurt in deeper ways at times, because they’re never expecting someone to be anything less then the wonderful person they think they are/know them to be.

But people are human, and emotions get the best of most people.

And some people just suck.

So as much as I’d like to handle things with grace, in this situation I constantly just want to swing in on a rope (did I mention that in this situation I’m a pirate swinging onto a ship that is burning as well as sinking into the ocean with sword fighting happening all around? No? Ok, well now you’re all caught up) and rescue him. Maybe fire a canon or two and then get the heck out. But I can’t do that because ya know…no upper body strength. None whatsoever.

This is life right now, but hopefully this season won’t last too much longer.

But if you’re wondering where I’ve been or whats up, there it is. I’ve been emotionally eating because when you just want to curl up on the floor for a few hours, you stop caring about resisting eating that sandwich and DANGIT YOU EAT IT BECAUSE WHO CARES IF CHIPOTLE MAYO MAKES YOU FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER YOU EAT IT AND LOVE IT.

And you know, you randomly lose the ability to not capitalize things that you feel passionate about. But things are getting better (hopefully), and I tell you what, I’ve never felt as close to Matt as I have through this entire thing.

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