The workweek + weight update

So you already know how Monday was, but you should also know that my legs and abs didn’t hurt for long, I did great not stealing a sandwich (since I was smart and didn’t bring my wallet into work), but Lord let me tell you that I ate so many calories at dinner! No regrets though, cause it was my mom’s birthday! And ya know, pasta.

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Tuesday was generally ok! I stuffed myself with two granola bars before I let myself eat the leftovers from Monday’s pasta dinner, and I drank a low calorie energy drink. But it was either that or just nap at my desk, which multiple people have told me is generally frowned upon. I burned 100 calories on the elliptical again, even faster this time! Definitely looking forward to working up to do that multiple times a day, and hopefully one day remembering to bring work out pants to work, cause tell you what…doing an elliptical in skinny jeans just makes me feel kinda stupid and super sweaty. Tonight Matt and I went to Brixx, ie my new favorite place of all time because they have pizza that is the absolute perfect compliment to my love of bleu cheese!

I ate half the pizza, but you better believe I wanted the whole thing!

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Wednesday & Thursday: worked out once, was so hungry for breakfast both days! As in, I swear my body knows I’m trying to limit what it eats so it wakes up EXTRA ravenous. Thursday night was potato soup and I just could not. So freakin good.

I so badly want to be someone who stops eating when they’re just barely full, but I tell you what, I am not there. I want to eat until I hurt, and that’s what I do! And keep in mind I don’t want to be that way, but my body certainly does.

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Which brings us to Friday, easily one of my most depressing days in this journey. This morning I stepped on the scale to find out that I gained 2 pounds.

2 pounds in 5 days. Heck, barely 5 full days!

I know I went out a lot this week, and that I ate pasta multiple times. But this is a new low, and basically the first set back of this journey where I didn’t actually give up and thats why I gained weight. Nope, this was me semi-trying, I mean, I did the ELLIPTICAL for god’s sake!

Honestly, I’m just…well, Michael Scott definitely put it best.

Dead inside.

I want to just never eat again. But, it’s 10am, I’ve been awake since 6 and I’m so freakin hungry. And I’m angry because I’m so hungry and I feel like my body is betraying me for wanting food but hating anything that doesn’t actually taste good. I’m also angry because I feel hungry all the time, like dear lord, knowing that I have to fight this all day every day is just daunting.

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PS. I kept it real in this post. I know that I left on a negative note, but thats life. Hopefully you had a better weight update, or maybe you didn’t and you can pull yourself out of the pit of despair without gorging yourself on pizza, but I’m not there yet. Currently I just want to curl up in that pit…but first have the pit filled with pasta. And of course, sandwiches.

Yup…definitely still hungry (haha)

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