Loving Myself

Today I’m reminding myself that even if I didn’t lose any weight this week (which I didn’t), that…that isn’t all that matters. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

You are not your weight.

I know that weight is what my blog is semi centered around. But today I was watching an old video with Mama Cass and John Denver with my dad, of a song that I love and sing often, and was just stricken by the beauty that is their voices together. And it hit me: Mama Cass is big, but that’s not who she is. She is her beautiful voice, she is part of the Mama and the Papas. She is a voice of that generation, and a voice that helped change music. I’m sure to her family and friends she is so much more.

I’m not my weight. Right now I weigh 206 pounds. That’s a freakin LOT y’all. But honestly…I refuse to hate myself for it. These past few weeks I have, and I’ve not wanted to be seen or touched because of it. I feel like there must be others out there who have gone through this, a certain “don’t look at me” feeling because well, I don’t like to look at me, so why should you?

So let us focus on the good and more important. Let us be kind and forgiving, quick to laugh and to connect on a “oh, you’re human and so am I, I bet we have something in common” type of level. Maybe it’s a weight issue that we have in common, or maybe its a feeling of lost-ness that we have where we are in our careers. Maybe it’s our mutual excitement over the nearness of Christmas, or the loss that we feel that although Christmas is near, not everyone will be home for Christmas.

As a side note, the song ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ kills me. Because not everyone will be, and that will be true for the rest of my life. I know people who miss their moms on Christmas and I can’t even imagine that, because I’m over here missing people that were no where near as close to me as my mom, and I don’t know how they handle not having their mom in their life. Can we just acknowledge how thankful we are for moms? Cause YES, I freakin love that woman. 

All I’m saying, after all of this, is don’t forget who are you are. Yes, I’m overweight. My belly is BIG yo. The stretch marks are real, and if we have a jiggly fat fight, I’m going to win. But that isn’t just who I am.

And whatever you’re struggling against isn’t just who you are either.

That’s one of the joys of being human, that we aren’t just one thing. And thank goodness for that!

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